Has your idea of what makes a good friend changed as you’ve gotten older?

I am not sure that my idea of what a good friend is changed as much as the expectations of a good friend has changed.

I think when you are younger there is a lot of expectation that your friend will available to you for everything all the time. As an adult, life happens. You become more aware of conflicting responsibilities and have more things that pull on the use of your time. You also realize that your friend has other friends and family. Commitments to uphold that are not solely your own.

When you are young a lot of your friends are location based because you meet them at school. As an adult the ones that remain your friend or new friends you make are more based on your interests, personalities, or beliefs.

There are friends we outgrow. They are too much drama, do not upkeep the relationship as much as we wish they did, or have not moved on to the next stage of life.

None of these things make someone a bad friend. Your good friends become the ones that stand by you when they notice you withdraw. Or ones that you can rely on to lighten the load even by being in their presence.

In the end, I think it is has always been about how the friend has made you feel. By adulthood you understand, the differences in feelings and prune away the ones that are more work, energy draining, or a bad influence. Whereas when you were younger, you might think you can change them. As you age, you realize that is not going to happen, nor should it. Maturity comes with a better understanding of when it is time to let go.