I wish I had worked on my tone earlier. There are a lot of things I have said that have been taken poorly because I apparently use a tone. I have never noticed this before in myself, but the last few years with kids taught me that I have several tones that I use when I talk.
I think it is mostly me thinking about something else at the same time that I am having a conversation and the tone of my voice follows my train of thought and not what I am actually saying.
I have been working on it since we took in the kids and I wish I had done it earlier so I did not have that hurdle with them. A lot of it is forcing myself to be more present and engaged in the conversation. It is really difficult to do. I am always running several programs in my brain at once and trying to keep myself focused on what is in front of me or on the other end of the phone line would greatly improve my relationships.
I do not have ADHD, or anything like that. My brain is constantly being reminded about things and I am filing the things away. I hear everything that is being said to me and I follow the story and everything well. I summarize what I hear to make sure I understand correctly before answering or replying. I just fall flat on the landing.
I am not even sure where it comes from. My mom always has a tone, but that is how she is and I have gotten used to it and do not take offense to it. It is who she is and that is how she talks. I know her brain works a lot like mine as well. It is hard to say if it is a nature or nurture thing. It just is and I am working to improve it.
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