This is all based off what you consider financial success. My parents owned their own business and had two full time jobs when I was growing up and they still struggled to pay the bills for our very minimal lifestyle. We did not have vacations, or fancy cars. We had a house that barely fit our family of four in the middle of nowhere.
Compared to my childhood, I am currently living a life of financial success. My partner is able to work one job to support the two of us and our two kids. We live near a large city in the suburbs with a house that has two bathrooms! That right there is a much higher standard of living than I had as a child.
We were able to put our kids into every extracurricular activity they asked for and they had the opportunity to go to campus, have big vacations, and never have to worry about not having what they need to live or to fit in like the other kids. We traveled for both school and non-school activities. They had pets. We have a large yard in which to run around in.
Compared to my childhood, I have reached financial success. My partner is more concerned about retirement and the uncertainty of the future. My parents had their retirement from their jobs and social security and are doing fine without any retirement savings account. His job has given him two retirement accounts.
Would it be nice to have more money so I could finish fixing up our house to the way we have always planned to? Would it be amazing to travel the world like I always dreamed? Yes. It would be nice to do those things. Those are extra, though. That is what we will spend our money on going forward. We are still paying down the debt we accrued during the pandemic and from having the girls. There were a lot of extra costs that we were not always ready for. That to me is where I would feel like we have finally made it. I have never experienced having a “rainy day” fund. I would like to have that or any kind of savings. To not have to put emergency things on credit would be a blessing.
I grew up with parents that paid the bills and were forced to cut things close and pick and choose which bills would be paid. I was in an uncomfortable position where I knew how bad my parents were doing no matter how hard they worked. They had their own employees that they were paying. Yet, if I had really asked for something, I am sure they would have figured out a way to make it happen. I just learned early not to do that.
My partner grew up in a middle class home and there were some weird money things with them. They lived in a suburban neighborhood outside a metropolitan area and they traveled constantly around the country and the world. Yet, my partner is the one that is constantly upset about spending more than he thinks is necessary on things or fretting over carrying debts. Our mortgage drives him crazy and I have to shake my head.
I grew up with parents who declared bankruptcy twice, and I am nowhere near triggered by the idea of spending money as he is. It absolutely boggles my mind. My parents were never home because they were working to keep us afloat. I know that even if we struggle for a bit we will bounce back. We have before and we will again. It is crazy to me how much fear and pressure he puts on himself because we are doing fine. Compared to a lot of our peers who graduated the same time as we did, we are doing well. We are doing well. Not as great as we might want, but nothing to really complain about.
Financial success should not be about constantly chasing more. It should be defined as when you have enough to be comfortable. Everything after that is excess.
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