Phoenix flying over nest of eggs

Mother of Trauma

What’s something you used to believe as a kid that seems ridiculous now?

Written by

Mother of Trauma

,

There are the obvious things I believed in when I was a kid like Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. Then there are the sad life lessons. Like if you work hard, you will be rewarded.

One of the most ridiculous things was probably the idea that my parents were not my parents. I did not start to look like my parents until my thirties. Before that, I really did not have any features other than a notch in my nose.

My childhood was spent in a very small rural community. It was very easy to feel like you did not belong there, especially when you were not related to anyone in the area. My parents both worked two jobs and I was home alone a lot. I was a very independent child because I had to be.

It was half fantasy, half based on childhood understandings of how the world work that made me believe that someday I would be reunited with my real family.

It never happened. My parents are my parents as far as I am aware. They definitely would not have qualified to adopt anyone. Decades later, my parents are still my parents.

2 responses

  1. CrownedBrunette Avatar
    CrownedBrunette

    I think what stood out to me wasn’t really whether your parents were your parents, but why you believed it. Feeling different or alone can make a child create explanations that make sense to them. I think a lot of people will see a little of themselves in your story. I know I did! My mom use to joke around when I was a little girl, saying how she found me in a rich man’s car. I believed it at one point because I never really looked like her or my dad! At least I didnt think so.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Mother of Trauma Avatar
      Mother of Trauma

      My parents each said that I looked like the other. Nobody agreed. I did not see myself in them for such a long time. It was funny in hindsight because I adopted and my kids were constantly yelling at me that I could never possibly understand feeling like an outsider in your family. That was my whole childhood experience. I never told them about this, because I always remembered this in the moment when they were upset and shouting, but it helped me to understand them better. It is strange to have this disconnect when everyone else around you seem so connected.

      Like

      Reply

Leave a comment