Which languages do you speak and how did that impact your life?

English is my first language and I am honestly kind of glad about that. It is a difficult language to learn. It makes no sense at times. Absolutely frustrating to teach other people. You end up shrugging and being like “That’s just how it is.” Ridiculous.

I took Spanish through High School and University. I am nowhere near fluent. I can read it pretty well. I have a good vocabulary for writing. Speaking and listening to it are difficult. If a speaker will slow down for me, I can slowly translate it. I never reached the phase where it becomes innate. My brain is still stuck in hear it, translate it, understand it, form English response, then translate, and then speak. I never moved into the thinking in another language.

I took ASL (American Sign Language) for a couple terms. I struggled with thinking in Spanish, so I thought maybe ASL would be easier. In some ways, it was. I have lost most of my skills now, but for a while I was able to have basic conversations while working as a barista. There was a large deaf community near the coffee shop I worked at, so I was able to use it regularly while I was learning.

I have always wished I was better at learning other languages. I am completely fascinated by the process. I love grammar rules and learning vocabulary. I struggle at the actual utilization. This hurdle has kept me from fully immersing myself in the language through travel. I know that is a great way to get over the finish line, but I already have so much social anxiety that not being able to speak well in another country terrifies me.

I also would have gotten pay raises for being bilingual if I could have pushed through that last bit. It is such a boon to be able to do these things and I fall flat. Instead, I really look up to everyone who has been able to learn a language. I pushed my kids into taking another language as soon as they could. It is such an amazing skill. My partner speaks French. They say when you learn an additional language that it is even easier to learn more languages. I am so jealous of others who are able to do this. It is incredible.