Memory

My partner and I both have dementia in our bloodlines. Currently, my mother-in-law is starting to lose her memory. This is the first of our parents to show signs.

It has been quite a rough few years for her and their family. At first, she was adamant nothing was wrong and refused to go see a doctor or anything. Two years after an intervention, we are unsure if she has gotten a diagnosis or is receiving any treatment. Supposedly she is seeing a doctor, but refuses to talk about it. My father-in-law is having to wrangle everything at this point, so it is not something we can really push.

Each time we visit, she is getting worse. Everyone is so irritable with her and honestly, I feel really bad for her. Her partner needs to step up and actually push for treatment. Once we know what is happening, I think everyone will treat her better and be more understanding.

She has always been a vibrant person. It is very sad to see her memory fade. I looked into how you should treat someone who is suffering with dementia and I am having a much easier time with her decline.

I do not get mad at having to repeat things. I do not get upset if she brings up things like asking about our dead cats. Sometimes I have a good time by trying different answers to her questions. It is actually kind of fun to be able to redo a conversation with her. She can sometimes be easily insulted and aggravated so having second chances at conversations is actually nice. I am able to have a lot more successful conversations with her.

I feel like the whole family is in denial. I am not sure how long before they are forced to face reality. I understand it is not my mother or wife. However, I feel like they at least need to learn about how to behave towards someone who is suffering. They correct her and she gets so distraught over distressing others.

My partner and I are finally talking about it in couples therapy. Hopefully, my partner will start to see what he should be doing. Nothing is going to make him feel better about this, but he needs to see how stressed out she has become.