This is a difficult prompt as I typically do act instead of not acting. There were a lot of times in the last year when I was faced with accusations that were not true and I dismissed them instead of arguing about them.
They hurt because my daughter should have known they were not true, but she was listening to people who had an agenda to drive a wedge between us. She suffered a lot in the last year because she believed that being a blood relation meant that they had her best interest at heart and would never lie to her. Which was absurd because she and her sister lied to each other all the time.
However, I was advised to not play into the power dynamics because reality is real. I was not doing the things I was being accused of, so there was no reason to argue the point. I know she wanted me to defend myself, but anything I said would have been negative about her blood relations. I had no way to win any argument then just letting the facts show themselves.
Looking back, I do not know what would have made that situation better. I was between a rock and a hard place. I do think the best course of action was not getting drawn into the drama. Sometimes I wonder if she wanted me to fight harder, but I did not want to attack her birth family. She was already mixed up enough about it without having anyone else’s thoughts.
She would accuse me of something. I would fact check and prove things when I could, but I did not enter the drama. I think she wanted me to. I think being dramatic and scheming meant love in her eyes, but to me that is control and manipulation. The two things I was accused of being. The two things I tried to never be.
Mother of Trauma 
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