Do you need a break? From what?

There are so many things I could say I need a break from most notably bills. However, I think I will say that I need a break from expectations. It is amazing how much of my day is shaped from what I perceive as others’ expectations of myself.

I push myself to do something I do not particularly want to do because someone else expects me to do it. It could wait for another day when I’m in a more agreeable mood.

I also find myself not able to do other things because people expect me to do them. Like folding the laundry when they are telling everyone that they did the laundry when all they did is put it in the machines and left in the basement.

Also the expectations of people have of mothers and wives in general. People expect my partner or my kids to do things because they know I will make sure they get them done. Then they thank or congratulate the person who they did not even think would actually do the task to begin with. It is probably the most obnoxious thing about being in charge of the household. If they do not do it, then I am a terrible mom or spouse, but if I do it then they get the credit. It is such a strange phenomenon.

It is to the point where I struggle to even know what my expectations are for myself any more. I am constantly dealing with other peoples’ expectations and the perceptions of their expectations that I have ceased to be a functioning human being capable of determining my own course of action without outside influence.