Last week I learned that someone very dear to me has been having a lot of trouble admitting to a late diagnosis of ADHD. They are very resistant to seeking treatment or even acknowledging that this is a thing that they have. It is unfortunate for a number of reasons, but the most tragic is that they are afraid of thinking how their childhood may have been different had they known.
They grew up in the 90s in one of the desert states. In elementary school, they would get in trouble for not being on task or being bored in class. Now this person is extremely talented and very intelligent, but has always been a terrible student in a traditional school setting. The school would line up the kids in circles against the wall of the sheet metal school during their recesses to punish them for their rambunctious behavior.
I was shocked and horrified. They shared this story with our group and the whole group was appalled. I am not sure whoever decided overly energetic kids needed to be punished by taking away their recesses, but they are awful people. On top of that, they were left to cook during recess against a hot metal wall. There is no other word than torture to describe what they went through.
Finally, we see an opening into the shame and fear this person has carried their whole lives. Only they do not see it that way. Even now they try to downplay it and say it was not that bad. Childhood traumas can live deep within our psyches to the point we need someone else to identify for us. The most common reaction to that revelation is to deny it.
What can we do to help? Listen and support. Encourage treatment by a professional. Understand that this is difficult for them to process as they have already repressed it for so long because of the shame.
Mother of Trauma 
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