What’s something most people don’t understand?

Most people do not understand that a child is traumatized when it is separated from the family of origin. No matter how old the child is. Even babies will grow up to suffer the effects of what is commonly referred to as the primal wound.

A baby knows it is no longer with the person who carried it to term. A baby’s whole rhythm is set to the mother’s. New research is coming out all the time because adoption has become big business for some people. Unfortunately women are vastly understudied in medical research and that hurts children. This new research is saying that even if a child is adopted at birth and not told they are adopted, they will know deep down that something is wrong.

It is becoming clear that the nervous system of the mother is inherited by the child in some aspects, like anxiety. There is also evidence that a person can smell a biological component in another person. These are such base things that no amount of therapy or bonding exercises are going to overcome the damage that adoption can do to a child.

I have been extremely vocal about this “pro life” movement being terrible for children. You cannot take away a woman’s birth control and then force them to have a child. The solution cannot be to give the child away. It hurts children. It will be an entire generation of traumatized children if we keep forcing people to have unwanted children.

Birth control stops a baby from being conceived. It tricks the body into thinking the woman is already pregnant, so it does not conceive after intercourse. It is extremely simple. The answer is not to force women to not have sex. Women are victims of abuse and rape. Sometimes they cannot stop having sex forced onto them. A woman can only have one pregnancy a year while men can have an infinite number of children.

The world does not want to help these women keep these children either. Sometimes you do not want to have a child because you cannot provide for one. That is not a personal failing, especially in today’s economy. Government assistance programs are constantly being shut down or threatened to be taken away. Children cost a lot of money and someone has to care for these children. Either someone stays home with the child or they need to hire someone else to do it.

Let women control their own bodies by having access to education and birth control. There will be considerably less traumatized children in the world. Adoption is not the answer to unwanted children. Adoption is a bandage trying to heal the primal wound. It will never heal no matter how great the parents are. That loss and rejection will be felt throughout life. It is insurmountable. No matter how good the adoptive parents are they cannot erase that pain. Nothing can.