A couple weeks ago, my youngest was apparently very frustrated and upset about something. A thing that I know nothing about. I spoke to her in the morning and she told me that she was going to break up with her boyfriend the following week after the dance. I have known throughout their whole relationship that she has not really been into him. He liked to get her gifts and tell her she is beautiful, so she kept him around while she flirted with other boys. She tells me the boy threatened her when they started dating saying that he would kill himself if she ever broke up with him.
She is telling me all this while getting her shoes on. We go over how this should be brought to the school’s attention and that this is not something she needed to carry with her for nearly two years. Then she is out the door after telling me she will talk to her counselor at school that day.
It is another regular school day. She is gone all day, then after school she has a pep band thing happening at the varsity basketball games. She texts me, “Don’t have plans for dinner tomorrow.” Which I knew. She had been trying to make plans to have dinner with her boyfriend before the dance, but he does not have any money. She apparently also does not have any money even though she could have if she had not spent her monthly allowance on energy drinks. After what she had told me that morning, I said I was not going to be paying to take out an abusive boyfriend before the dance. Especially when she has not been keeping up with her chores and lying about it.
The next thing I know she is texting me, “I guess I am not going to the dance. What a waste of $20.” Which it was my $20. I gave her the money to buy the tickets so she could go to the dance. I paid for the dress and the alterations, so her little legs could have a floor length dress. I reply back, “I never said you could not go to the dance.”
That is met with a text that she is leaving and never coming back. That someone is picking her up and “Thanks for everything, I guess.” Then a woman from her past that I met once picks her up and leaves the state with her.
Not before they call the police and I am given 30 minutes to pack up her essentials and leave them on my porch. Which I do. They leave her cell phone behind because the woman has bought her a new cell phone. That woman then takes my child to the dance the next night with a new dress.
That is the last time I saw my youngest. The second of my two adopted daughters who left before their graduations.
My daughter and I argued about chores the day before because she was not caring for her animals. A task that takes twenty to thirty minutes a day. I know this, I am now doing it everyday myself. I used to be able to say I will have to give the pedigreed animals away, but now one of them is a rescue and it has nowhere else to go. I cannot threaten to re-home them anymore because nobody will take this animal. Her other chores consist of keeping her room clean and putting the bins on the street for pick up day each week.
I know there was probably a lot going on with her talking to her sister and her birth mom. That they have been trying to convince her to live with them for a long time now. This is basically the anniversary of when my oldest called her birth mom to live with her after being kicked out of her friend’s home and being unable to find anyone else to take her in. I am sure this is mostly my oldest acting out and manipulating the younger one.
It still hurts. Multiple therapy appointments have happened since then. I have no definitive answer on what happened and probably never will. Some other things happened with the woman, but that is an entirely new topic. I feel weird. It is not as painful as when the first one left, but that might be because I do not have a younger child at home dealing with this. It is just the two of us and the animals. It is very quiet now.
Mother of Trauma 
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