What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?

I am not a good swimmer. I went through two different swim lesson programs during my childhood and all I learned is I do not like to be under water. My partner, however, has gone scuba diving, snorkeling, and done various other water activities. My kids are exceptional swimmers and have done all manners of water activities except scuba diving.

Years ago my partner and I talked about going to see the coral reefs. I am not even sure that there are any that really exist any more. He had visited the Great Barrier Reef when he was a teenager and it is one of his favorite childhood memories.

He tried to help me come up with a plan, so that I could attempt to look at some reefs. We talked about taking various underwater lessons at the aquatic center. They had been offering scuba classes, in fact. What kind of situations I would need to actually be able to overcome this fear. He offered to pay a private instructor to basically baby me through the entire process.

I am absolutely terrified of the idea of being underwater. I did not realize how deep this fear was until we started to plan out how to work through it. Eventually, I caved and refused to go through with any of his ideas. Even now writing about this is making a panic attack begin to build. My heart rate is increasing, my breathing is becoming erratic, and I want to shut down, scream, and run away all at the same time.

I know I have a mild claustrophobia with not liking to be in small spaces or in densely populated areas. For most of my life, I have been able to completely avoid water activities. Tried going on a boat a couple times and became extremely seasick both times. The water and I are just not meant to be together. I am mostly okay with it.