Who are the biggest influences in your life?

For good or bad, the biggest influences in your life will be your parents. For me, a lot of their influence was to make it clear to me what I did not want to grow up to be. I did not want to have my life revolve around my job. I wanted to have hobbies and interests outside of my occupation.

I knew how I did not want to parent my children. I try very hard to accept my children as they are and not put expectations on them to be who they are not. I do not expect perfection. Like my parents though, I value hard work and perseverance. I want my kids to have those same qualities or at least appreciate them in others.

I am also very careful to not fall into the same traps that they did. My father struggled with gambling. My mother enabled him. I left an abusive relationship because I did not want to end up miserable in a marriage like she did.

My parents are far from perfect, but they did what they thought they needed to do. I have spent a lot of time in therapy dealing with the aftermath of some of their choices, but I know they always wanted what was best for me. Coming to terms with that has helped me let go of some of the perfectionism that was ingrained in me through realizing we are all flawed human beings. We should look more at intent than action in order to heal. I have now met malicious people and have learned the importance of the distinction.

The biggest influences on who I am today will always be my parents and the journey I had to take to understand my childhood and move forward into adulthood.