Pet Loss

We lost our other cat a few weeks ago and it has been difficult to deal with. It is not as raw and aching as our other cat, but still hurts. She more than likely had cancer. There was a slim chance it could have been anything treatable. It was a slimmer chance that the treatment would work. Once again we faced the decision for what would be best for an animal in our care.

A lot of people choose to fight no matter the cost. I wish I could be one of those people. It just is not feasible for us and in reality it was not feasible for either of our cats. Our pets were stressed just being at the vet’s office. To take them to the pet hospital which is farther away would have been more stressful. Then treatment would have been distressing. If they made it through treatment, then they would have after care that would have also been stressful and uncomfortable.

Being an animal’s person means choosing what is best for the animal and not for you. They do not understand what is happening and you cannot tell them that you are trying to prolong their life. They just know they are in pain and that their time is short.

Even writing about this now weeks later, I break down in tears. My daughter wanted us to try and save her and I had to talk her through the unlikeliness of success. I had to explain everything from the cat’s perspective.

We all sat with our little tortoiseshell cat and said goodbye and waited for her to pass. It was quick and painless. She was no longer suffering. She was twelve years old and until the last few weeks, just as much of a terror as she was as a kitten.

I miss her. I keep expecting to see her around the house. I still expect to see our last cat around the house. It is so very difficult to move on after losing a companion animal. Your pets love you unconditionally. I love them unconditionally. No matter how many times she woke me up in the middle of the night with her paw on my face.

Eventually we will most likely get more cats, but not for quite a while. My partner and I need to heal from the losses. Our daughter keeps trying to get us to look at more cats. One night I did. After looking at all the ones within a hundred miles and not being interested in any of them I knew I was not ready yet. No new cat will take the place of the ones before in my heart. I need to be able to give our new cats the chance to have their own place.