Failure: the conclusion?

As much as I wish I could say that this story is over and we have all moved on. That is not realistic. Nobody in our family will ever move on from what we have been through because we lost what used to be our “family”.

My youngest has had to grow up a bit sooner than expected and learn the true meaning of family. She has been searching for that classic Hallmark ending and she has been realizing over the last year that she is never going to have that. Her rose colored glasses have been broken and she has had to face some very harsh truths about everyone she cares about. Her sister was a very large disappointment. She learned that her parents cannot fix everything. Her dream of what life with her birth family would have been like was completely crushed by reality.

My oldest has found out how difficult it is to find someone to give you the life you want. She is still struggling to get what she wants and she has lost a lot of the comforts she used to enjoy. She will probably have to lose a lot more before she will be able to admit that she made a mistake. When she does we will still be here and we will still help her. She is our child and we will always help her get back on track. She might just be one of those people that has to learn through experience.

My partner has probably had the slowest bounce back to “normal”. He is slowly coming out of it now. His energy has been returning and he is becoming more like the man I married. I have not seen that man for a long time, though the same could be said about the woman he married. We have been through a very trying few years and we are taking the steps to find our way back.

I am making great strides on getting my physical health under control. It was spiraling the last few years and I have already seen some recovery. My blood pressure is lowering, my A1C is coming down, and all the other problems I have had seem to be resolving.

Emotionally, I can still be a bit scattered, but my memory is becoming clearer. This last year really took a toll on my confidence in my mental faculties, but I am calmer. I am able to figure out problems again. I find myself seeking out solutions and following through.

I am here again. I am healing from an emotional wound that may never completely heal. I am here and I am growing. I still have my little family. I still have my dreams. I still have hope.