call from the school

Nothing sets off alarm bells like seeing a missed call from your child’s school. Then even more alarm when there is a voicemail. And then fear as you hear the message about the most vague topic of a phone message you have ever heard.

I received a cryptic voicemail today. I then panicked. Not knowing if it is because my child got in a fight. Or my child has more issues with the no contact order. Or that my child was trying to bully other kids into giving them food. A long list of possible reasons begins to populate my brain.

It was from a staff member I had never heard of before, but they identified themselves as a mental health specialist. I began to wonder if she was talking about the sexual assault at school or if she had threatened to harm herself again. Things that have been recorded repeatedly at school, but every once in awhile I receive a call from someone trying to break the bad news to me. Then I have to tell them there is a history that is documented in their student file. They always seem so put out by that, even though they were the ones who did not bother to check before reaching out.

Today was actually a very low priority issue. She was reporting another student for making threats and talking about subjects that made her uncomfortable. This was news to me because she has gotten in trouble for doing the same thing to other students all the time. That was the whole drama in the fall before the sexual assault happened.

They are scheduled to do a peer mediation later this week and the poor mental health specialist was trying to warn me to prepare me for the heavy topics that they must discuss. I think after a few questions from me, he realized I am quite used to such topics in our home, since they usually originate from her. The mental health specialist seemed to be shocked by all the revelations about my youngest, so I can see that he has not really talked with any of her previous support team. She recently transferred to a new school counselor and special education program for academic and emotional support. At least talking to me probably showed him why she is in the program to begin with.

I am always very open with the teams that work with my kiddos. Anything that can help them find the root of their issues will speed up the healing process. My kids have been through a lot and there is a lot to track with each individual kiddo. I cannot imagine being a professional that needs to keep track of numerous kiddos with various support individuals and different treatment selections.

On the one hand, I am very glad the mental health specialist called me to give me a heads up. On the other hand, I feel like leaving vague, cryptic voicemails may not be the best way to go about informing parents. It happens to us a lot with the various specialists we use and it is such an emotional roller coaster, especially when we have phone tag thrown in there on top of the unknown. I definitely prefer a quick email over vague voicemails.